And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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