don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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