so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize