who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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