If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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