I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize