just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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