Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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