I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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