I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Found your dick twin last night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
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Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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