i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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