This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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