Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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