Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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