he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize