we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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