I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize