College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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