walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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