A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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