Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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