I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
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I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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