How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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