you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize