She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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