how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The struggles of a small town man whore
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize