Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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