I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't turn off my feet"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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