Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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