it was like eating out sand paper
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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