Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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