sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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