Please, let me fuck your mom
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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