plz talk dirty to me
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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