I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
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Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize