In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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