What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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