I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize