he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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