I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
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it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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