I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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