Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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