I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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