She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize