Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize