Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize