And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My penis needs a shock collar
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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