Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize