Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize