My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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